We Must Stop This Immediately !
Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper . Groceries are heavier. And, everything is farther away! Yesterday I walked to the corner andI was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!
And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the youngones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak upthey just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silentmessage until they're red in the face! What do they think I am, a lipreader?
I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On theother hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran intoan old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn'teven recognize me.
I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair thismorning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection. Well, REALLYNOW - even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!
Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking lifeand limb if you happen to pull onto the motorway in front of them. AllI can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I seethem screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.
Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else wouldthey suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Dothey think no one notices? The people who make bathroom scales arepulling the same prank. Do they think I actually 'believe' the number Isee on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Justwho do these people think they're fooling?
I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on --but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printedthe phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a numberin there!
All I can do is pass along this warning: WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!
Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities.
PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!
PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font size, because somethinghas happened to my computer's fonts - they are smaller than they oncewere.
Thanks Isabel - Maybe McCain, the new Shrub, can save US?
Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper . Groceries are heavier. And, everything is farther away! Yesterday I walked to the corner andI was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!
And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the youngones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak upthey just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silentmessage until they're red in the face! What do they think I am, a lipreader?
I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On theother hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran intoan old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn'teven recognize me.
I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair thismorning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection. Well, REALLYNOW - even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!
Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking lifeand limb if you happen to pull onto the motorway in front of them. AllI can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I seethem screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.
Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else wouldthey suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Dothey think no one notices? The people who make bathroom scales arepulling the same prank. Do they think I actually 'believe' the number Isee on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Justwho do these people think they're fooling?
I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on --but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printedthe phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a numberin there!
All I can do is pass along this warning: WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!
Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities.
PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!
PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font size, because somethinghas happened to my computer's fonts - they are smaller than they oncewere.
Thanks Isabel - Maybe McCain, the new Shrub, can save US?
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