Bill Cosby (I'm Tired)

Bill Cosby - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Cosby

Begin forwarded message:

You don't have to be 76 to agree!

 

Bill Cosby has a good point. Read on.

 

 

Bill Cosby : "I'm 76 and Tired"

 

 

I'm 76. Except for brief period in the 50's when I was doing my National Service, I've worked hard since I was 17. Except for some some serious health challenges, I put in 50-hour weeks, and didn't call in sick in nearly 40 years. I made a reasonable salary, but I didn't inherit my job or my income, and I worked to get where I am. Given the economy, it looks as though retirement was a bad idea, and I'm tired. Very tired. 

I'm tired of being told that I have to "spread the wealth" to people who don't have my work ethic. I'm tired of being told the government will take the money I earned, by force if necessary, and give it to people too lazy to earn it. 

I'm tired of being told that Islam is a "Religion of Peace," when every day I can read dozens of stories of Muslim men killing their sisters, wives and daughters for their family "honour"; of Muslims rioting over some slight offense; of Muslims murdering Christian and Jews because they aren't "believers"; of Muslims burning schools for girls; of Muslims stoning teenage rape victims to death for "adultery"; of Muslims mutilating the genitals of little girls; all in the name of Allah, because the Qur'an and Shari'a law tells them to. 

I'm tired of being told that out of "tolerance for other cultures" we must let Saudi Arabia and other Arab countries use our oil money to fund mosques and mandrassa Islamic schools to preach hate in Australia, New Zealand, UK, America and Canada, while no one from these countries are allowed to fund a church, synagogue or religious school in Saudi Arabia or any other Arab country to teach love and tolerance.. 

I'm tired of being told I must lower my living standard to fight global warming, which no one is allowed to debate.

I'm tired of being told that drug addicts have a disease, and I must help support and treat them, and pay for the damage they do. Did a giant germ rush out of a dark alley, grab them, and stuff white powder up their noses or stick a needle in their arm while they tried to fight it off? 

I'm tired of hearing wealthy athletes, entertainers and politicians of all parties talking about innocent mistakes, stupid mistakes or youthful mistakes, when we all know they think their only mistake was getting caught. I'm tired of people with a sense of entitlement, rich or poor. 

I'm really tired of people who don't take responsibility for their lives and actions. I'm tired of hearing them blame the government, or discrimination or big-whatever for their problems. 

I'm also tired and fed up with seeing young men and women in their teens and early 20's bedeck them selves in tattoos and face studs, thereby making themselves un-employable and claiming money from the Government. 

Yes, I'm damn tired. But I'm also glad to be 76.. Because, mostly, I'm not going to have to see the world these people are making. I'm just sorry for my granddaughter and her children. Thank God I'm on the way out and not on the way in. 

There is no way this will be widely publicized, unless each of us sends it on!

This is your chance to make a difference.

" I'm 76 and I'm tired. If you don't forward this you are part of the problem".

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EU's Problems Summed Up

Pythagorean theorem: 24 words Lord's prayer: 66 words Archimedes' Principle: 67 words Ten Commandments: 179 words Gettysburg address: 286 words US Declaration of Independence: 1,300 words US Constitution with all 27 Amendments: 7,818 words EU regulations on the sale of cabbage:  26,911 words

– Europe's Problems Summed Up

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What is a Financial Bail-Out ?

What is a Financial Bail-Out ?

It is a slow day in a damp little Irish town. The rain is beating down harshly, and all the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt and everybody lives on credit.

...On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the town, stops at the local hotel and lays a €100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night.

The owner gives him some room-keys and, as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the €100 note and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.

The butcher takes the €100 note and rushes down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer. The pig farmer takes the €100 note and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of animal feed and fuel.

The guy at the Farmers' Co-op takes the €100 note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the friendly neighbourhood pub. The pub owner slips the money along to the local prostitute drinking at the bar - who, in spite of facing hardtimes, has always gladly offered him her 'services' on credit. 

The hooker then rushes over to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the hotel owner with the €100 note.

The hotel proprietor quietly replaces the €100 note back on the counter, so that the rich traveller will not suspect anything.

At that moment the traveller comes down the stairs, states that none of the rooms are satisfactory, picks up the €100 note, pockets it and leaves town.

...No one has produced anything. No one has earned anything. However, the whole town is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism.

And that, dear ladies and gentlemen, is how a basic financial bailout package works !

Posted via email from Sigalon - The Swedish Frog

International joke

On a chain of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of South Pacific, the following people are stranded:

Two Italian men and one Italian woman. Two French men and one French woman. Two German men and one German woman. Two Greek men and one Greek woman. Two British men and one British woman. Two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman. Two Japanese men and one Japanese woman. Two Chinese men and one Chinese woman. Two Irish men and one Irish woman. Two American men and one American woman.

One month later, on these absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:

One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a ménage a trois.

The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.

The two Greek men are sleeping together and the Greek woman is cooking and cleaning for them.

The two British men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the British woman.

The two Bulgarian men took one look at the Bulgarian woman and started swimming to another island.

The two Japanese have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.

The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, liquor store, restaurant, and laundry, and have gotten the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their stores.

The two Irish men divided the island into north and south and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets somewhat foggy after a few liters of coconut whiskey. However, they're satisfied because the British aren't having any fun.

The two American men are contemplating suicide, because the American woman will not shut up and complains relentlessly about her body, the true nature of feminism, what the sun is doing to her skin, how she can do anything they can do, the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palm trees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do, and how her relationship with her mother is the root cause of all her problems, and why didn't they bring a damn cell phone so they could call 911 and get them all rescued off this Godforsaken deserted island in the middle of freaking nowhere so she can get her nails done and go shopping.

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Connaissez-vous la Reine Duracell... ???

 

 

Elle dure… elle dure... et elle dure !!!  11     Obama   10    Bush  2   9    Clinton   8      Bush  1   7   Reagan    6      Carter    5   Ford   4      Nixon    3  Kennedy   2 Eisenhower 1   Truman    Elle sera  sûrement bientôt considérée  ‘patrimoine mondial’ par l'Unesco...

 

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Ny sedel.....

 

 

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lite kul....

 

Moderna tider….

 

 

 

 

 

 

Klok….

En man och en kvinna var på semester. Efter middagen ville maken ta en tupplur.
Frun bestämmer sig då för att ta en tur i båten, fastän hon inte känner till sjön. Hon åker ut en bit, lägger ankar och tar fram en bok och sätter sig och läser.
Plötsligt kommer skogvaktaren förbi i sin båt. Han stannar bredvid kvinnan och säger:
-God morgon, frun! Vad gör ni?
-Jag läser en bok, svarar hon (och tänker, Syns inte det?)
-Det är fiskebegränsning här, informerar han.
-Ja, det är möjligt, men jag fiskar inte, jag läser.
-Ja, men du har utrustning till det. Så vitt jag vet, så kan du ju börja när som helst. Jag måste ta med dig in till stationen och skriva en rapport.
-För att jag läser? svarar hon tvivlande.
-Ja, det är fiskebegränsning här, informerar han igen.
-Men jag fiskar ju inte, jag läser.
-Jo, men du har utrustning till det, så du kan ju börja när som helst. Jag måste ta med dig in till stationen.
-Om du gör det blir jag tvungen att anmäla dig för sexuella trakasserier, säger kvinnan.
-Men jag har ju inte rört dig, säger skogvaktaren.
-Det är sant, men du har utrustning till det. Så vitt jag vet, så kan du ju börja när som helst.
-Ha en bra dag, frun! sa skogvaktaren och åkte iväg.

 

 

 

På dagis….

 

Oscar ber sin dagisfröken hjälpa honom att ta på sig sina stövlar innan han skall gå ut i kylan. De är jättebesvärliga att ta på och fröken måste verkligen göra världens ansträngning för att utföra uppdraget.
När äntligen stövlarna sitter på så säger Oscar:
- De sitter på fel fot.
Fröken tror inte sina ögon när hon konstaterar att det är som Oscar säger, stövlarna sitter fel. Hon drar som en dåre i 3 minuter för att ta av dem och börjar om med en superansträngning för att sätta på dem igen. Då säger Oscar:
- Det är inte mina stövlar!
Fröken andas djupt och lägger locket på sina känslorna för att inte skada lille Oscar som tittar på henne med en fast blick.
- OK, säger hon, vi tar av dem då! Och så sätter hon igång med samma träning som tidigare.
- Varför sa du inte det tidigare? Frågar hon när hon är klar.
Oscar svarar då:
- Det är inte mina stövlar, det är brorsans, men mamma vill att jag skall ha dem!
Fröken börjar gråta och mycket behärskat, fast bestämt, sätter hon på stövlarna för en tredje gång. Sedan lyfter hon Oscar, sätter på honom jacka och halsduk och frågar:
- Var är dina vantar?
Och Oscar svarar:
- Jag la dem i stövlarna!

 

 

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GLASGOW HOSPITALS Oh my dog !

These are sentences exactly as typed by medical secretaries in NHS Greater Glasgow 1. The patient has no previous history of suicide. 2. Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital. 3. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days. 4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. 6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared. 7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. 8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993. 9. Discharge status:-      Alive, but without my permission. 10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful. 11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. 12. She is numb from her toes down. 13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home. 14. The skin was moist and dry. 15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches. 16. Patient was alert and unresponsive. 17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid. 18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce. 19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our care for physical therapy. 20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. 21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. 22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. 23. Skin: somewhat pale, but present. 24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor. 25. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall. 26. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities. 27. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room. 28. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel and crashed. 29. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant. 30. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December. 31.. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree. 32. The patient was to have a bowel resection..  However, he took a job as a stock broker instead. 33. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.  For the sake of your health - stay away from hospital

 

 

  

 

 

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JEWISH POKER CLUB

 JEWISH  POKER CLUB
  
   
  

  
   Seven  retired Jewish Floridian fellows were playing poker in the condo clubhouse  when Meyer loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead  at the table.
  
   Showing  respect for their fallen comrade, the other six continue playing, but  standing up.
  
   At  the end of the game, Finklestein looks around and asks, "So, who's gonna  tell his vife?"
  They  cut the cards.  Goldberg picks the low card and has to carry the  news. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation  any worse.
  "Discreet?   I'm the most discreet person you'll ever meet.  Discretion is my  middle name.  Leave it to me."
  
   Goldberg  goes over to the Meyer's condo and knocks on the door.  The wife  answers through the door and asks what he wants?  Goldberg  declares:  "Your husband just lost $500 in a poker game and is afraid  to come home."
  "Tell  him to drop dead!" yells the wife.
  
   "I'll  go tell him." says Goldberg.
  
  
 
 
 
 
   
 

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blagues corses...pardon, jene résiste pas !

-------Message original-------                           > > >  > Pourquoi les Corses sont tous petits ? > > Parce qu'on leur a toujours dit : "Quand tu seras grand, tu devras travailler !" > >  > > >    > > >            > > >  > Après les épreuves du Bac, un Corse rentre chez lui et son père le questionne : > > - Alors, et ce bac, ça a marché ? > > - Tu va être fier de moi : Ils m'ont interrogé trois heures et j'ai rien dit ! > > >    > > >        > > >    > > >   > Un touriste visite la Corse. Il s'arrête près d'un paysan qui est allongé sur un transat en train de manger des cerises. De temps en temps, ce paysan recrache les noyaux. Le touriste lui demande : > > - Ca va ? > > - Ben ça va, vous voyez, je plante ! > > >    > > >        > > >    > > >  > Un Corse se plaint : > > - C'est épouvantable ! Avec mon chef, il m'est impossible de dormir au bureau. > > - Pourquoi ? Il te réveille ? > > - Non, il ronfle.     > > >        > > >    > > >  > Dans une Librairie de Bastia, un Corse demande un livre sur le jardinage. > > Le vendeur le conseille : > > - Quand vous aurez lu celui-ci, votre travail sera à moitié fait ! > > >            > > >    > > >   > Un Corse désespère : > > - Enfin, Didier, dit-il à son fils, je sais bien que ton arrière-grand-père est un fainéant, que ton grand-père est un fainéant, que ton grand-oncle est fainéant. Je suis moi-même fainéant comme mon frère. Je comprends donc que toi aussi tu sois fainéant, mais il n'y a plus de limites ! A trente ans, tu devrais fonder un foyer. Imagine que tu aies des enfants. Ils pourront peut-être travailler pour toi et te nourrir quand tu seras vieux. > > - C'est une bonne idée ça, papa, que je me marie. Mais, par hasard, tu connaîtrais pas une femme enceinte ? > >  > > >    > > >        > > >    > > >  > Deux Corses se promènent. Soudain, l'un d'eux écrase un escargot d'un coup de pied rageux. > > - Qu'est-ce qui te prend, Maurice, t'es fada, non ? > > - Non, il commençait à m'énerver à nous suivre depuis plus d'une heure. > >  > > >    > > >        > > >    > > >   > Un Corse affirme : > > - Moi et ma femme, nous formons le plus heureux des couples. En effet, pour être heureux, il faut avoir un bon boulot et une bonne santé. Ma femme a le bon boulot, et moi, j'ai une bonne santé ! > > >    > > >        > > >    > > >   > Deux Corses s'installent à la terrasse d'un café où ils demeurent ainsi pendant un quart d'heure. Soudain, l'un d'eux se met à bâiller : > > - Oh, Marcel, pendant que tu bâilles, appelle le garçon ! > > >    > > >        > > >    > > >  > Deux Corses discutent : > > - Que ferais-tu si tu gagnais au Loto deux millions ? > > - Rien, absolument rien ! > >  > > >    > > >        > > >    > > >  > Dans un refuge de montagne, en Corse, un vieux berger et son fils attendent les beaux jours pour redescendre au village. > > - Oh fils ! Va voir dehors un peu s'il pleut ! > > Le fils ne bouge pas d'un poil et lui répond : > > - Y'a qu'à siffler le chien et lui tâter le poil... On verra bien s'il est mouillé ! > > >    > > >        > > >    > > >  > Quelle est la différence entre le drapeau russe et le drapeau corse ? > > - Sur le drapeau corse, il n'y a pas d'outils. > >  > > >    > > >        > > >    > > >  > En Corse, Doumé aperçoit Dominique en train de rouler une cigarette. > > - Dis Dominique, je croyais que tu ne fumais plus à cause de ton coeur ? > > - C'est vrai, mais maintenant, comme tu le vois, je ne les achète plus toutes faites, je les roule moi-même car le docteur m'a dit que je pouvais fumer à condition de faire de l'exercice. > >  > > >    > > >        > > >    > > >   > Dans le cimetière d'un petit village corse, une vieille dame frappe rageusement sur une tombe avec sa canne. Doumé qui passe par-là s'en étonne et demande à la grand-mère : > > - Oh ! Antonia, qu'est-ce qui te prend ? > > - C'est mon mari : il est allé voter aujourd'hui et il n'est même pas passé me voir ! > > >            > > >    > > >  > Pourquoi n'y a t-il que des jolies filles en Corse ? > > - Ce sont des bombes... > >  > > >    > > >        > > >    > > >   > Doumé et son pote Antonin sont assis sur un banc à l'entrée d'un village corse, au bord de la route. Passe une voiture qui laisse tomber une mallette qui s'ouvre sous le choc et laisse découvrir des liasses de billets. Doumé secoue Antonin : > > - Si le vent se lève, on est riche ! > > >    > > >        > > >    > > >  > Doumé va sur le continent et voit un bâtiment portant sur sa façade une inscription : "Médecine du travail". Il s'exclame : > > - Il leur en aura fallut du temps pour s'apercevoir que le travail rendait malade ! > > >    > > >            > > >   > Un Corse installé depuis un an sur le continent écrit à son frère : "Viens ici, il n'y a qu'à se baisser pour ramasser de l'argent". Le frère prend le bateau et, à peine arrivé à Marseille, sur le quai, il aperçoit un billet de 100 ¤. Il se baisse pour le ramasser puis se ravise : > > - Je commencerais à travailler demain. > >  > > >    > > >            > > >   > Un riche Corse, sur le point de mourir, décide de léguer sa fortune au plus fainéant de ses trois fils qu'il décide de tester. Il demande à l'aîné de monter : > > - Oh, mon fils ! Que fais-tu si tu es à la terrasse d'un bar, qu'il fait très chaud et que tu aperçois un billet de 100 ¤ de l'autre côté de la route ? > > - Ouh... J'attends qu'il fasse moins chaud pour aller le chercher ! > > Le vieillard appelle ensuite son deuxième fils   - Que fais-tu, mon fils, si une jolie fille te fait de l'oeil pendant ta sieste ? > > - Je termine d'abord ma sieste ! > > Le vieillard appelle alors le cadet : > > - Oh ! Do

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Blague

 

C'est un commercial de Coca qui revient du Moyen-Orient très remonté.

Il y était parti pour développer la marque là-bas.

Son ami lui demande "alors, pourquoi n'as-tu pas réussi avec les Arabes ? "

Il lui répond : " quand j'ai été envoyé au Moyen-Orient, j'étais très confiant de pouvoir faire de bonnes

ventes car Coca-cola n'est pas connu là-bas. Mais le problème était que je ne parlais pas arabe. J'ai

donc fait passer le message à travers 3 images….

la 1ère image présentait un homme allongé dans le sable chaud du désert, totalement faible et

épuisé…

la 2ème présentait un homme buvant du Coca….

la 3ème photo montrait notre homme totalement rafraichi….. »

Et ces panneaux furent publiés dans toute la ville……

« Ben ça aurait dû bien marcher ? » lui répond son ami….

« Un putain d'enfer ouais !!!! » lui répond le commercial……

« Je ne savais pas que les arabes lisaient de droite à gauche »…….

 

 

See the full gallery on Posterous

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Spain Dodges Fallout From Portugal Bailout Request

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Cloud Touch Facebook phone clears FCC

via sigalonandroid.soup.io

INQ has received word that the Cloud Touch Facebook Phone has cleared the FCC. Dubbed simply “The Facebook Phone,” the Cloud Touch will likely head to AT&T since testing included support for GSM 850 and 1900 bands, as well as WCDMA Bands II and V. There’s no word on when the Cloud Touch will make it to MaBell, or how much it will run, but analysts looking at pricing and availability in Europe speculate that the device will sell for about $500 unsubsidized or $30 with a two year deal from AT&T. And although we don’t have a launch date just yet, the 180 day request for non disclosure should put this in AT&T stores sometime in late summer or early fall, if guessing correctly.

Specs for the Cloud Touch Facebook Phone include a Qualcomm MSM7227 800MHz processor, 3.5” touch screen, 512MB of internal storage, GPS, WiFi and Bluetooth. In addition, it will run Android 2.2 (Froyo) out of the box, which is a drag, but considering it’s relatively slower processor, it’s not going to be doing a lot of high end applications. The heart of the phone is it’s Facebook applications, including status updates, chat places, and events. Additionally, Facebook’s Social graphing application will enable users who live on the site daily to get updates directly from those they interact with the most.

The phone is also a 5MP camera, but I wouldn’t expect HD considering the low power of the processor and screen. So while users will be able to upload images and videos directly to … you guessed it … Facebook, they’re likely not to be in high definition. But at least users will have a full slide up QWERTY to type with. If this phone doesn’t float your boat, there are two more Facebook phones coming down the pipe this summer as well, including the HTC Salsa and Cha Cha.

So, if you’re a Facebook user looking for an Android tool to help live your lives on the Social site, stay tuned here at AC for more info on the Facebook Phone Trio as it develops.

[via Wireless Goodness]

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Most Students suffer from Smartphone Withdrawl Study Finds

via sigalonandroid.soup.io

“I am an addict. I don’t need alcohol, cocaine or any other derailing form of social depravity,” said one British participant, “Media is my drug; without it I was lost.”

Researchers say the result of the symptoms could be due to the fact that the principal subjects of the study, 17-23 year-olds, have grown up wired and live their lives more online than they do interacting in the real world. So the real world applications of interacting face to face is more foreign to them than engaging online. Many students experienced feelings of confusion, being isolated, and even felt like a failure without their gadgets keeping them plugged in. And many, who have wanted to disengaged from the gadgets that control their lives, fear to do so because of peer pressure, worrying that disconnecting will lead to ostracizing from friends.

But the good news is that students in the study who engaged in one on one conversations during the studies found them to be far more in depth and fulfilling than the chats provided by social media threads. And it’s not surprising considering regular conversations don’t have a 140 character limit and talking face to face actually requires a person to stay attentive. But if one isn’t used to personal interaction, such face to face attention may initially cause insecure feelings. Additionally, personal interaction means a person is far less likely to be blunt or even rude in their reactions, or are less likely to be verbally critical in a conversation.

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